Living My Awakening | Page 2

beingLiving ‘My’ Awakening:
The Experiential Tales of a Modern American Mystic

-From the Heart of Bradley; as an ode to ‘my’ Beloved…


Someone asked me the other day – “how do you know that you are infinite? I mean, really, how do you know?”

The answer demands that we ask a more fundamental question, beginning at the base of ‘I’. That is the border – the boundary between what you are, and what you ‘think’ you are.  What you ‘think’ you are is a person; ‘some-one’, who must be doing ‘some-thing’.  This is just a thought.  That you are ‘finite’ is just a thought.  You see, ‘finite’ is a word.  Words are used to paint pictures that convey meaning.

Meaning is partly perception, partly inception, partly imagination; but mostly memory; and all story…   So if I hand you a word that we would refer to as ‘finite’ – you might leap to your definition of the word ‘limited’ – or choose some other comparative notion within the conditioned framework of ‘thought’, and contrast it against a background of opinions and preferences; which are also just thoughts.

Using thoughts to interact with thoughts; within the net of confusion that we call ‘mind’, we get tangled up in them. We begin to drown in them – and we lose ourselves to them.  This is, of course, quite natural.  It is the way of things – an aspect of the Great Way – or the Tao.  We can call it whatever we like. There is a beingness beyond our beingness of which we are all a part.  We are woven into it, and it expresses itself as us.

Within the womb of void, we dwell as a singular eye, hanging behind a veil of nothingness. And on this end; we dance in the mystery of Life; and of Existence.  We come to know an intimacy with the moment; an intimacy that is so grounded in loving surrender, that we disappear into it.  Love is what we lean backwards into.  Pure, unconditional Love beyond imagining.  It is a Love of Something, born of Nothing – and it is what we truly are…

We are beyond words – something that exists just beyond the edges of our conditioned states of consciousness. States like ‘thought’.  Or rather – states of mind.  But no matter how deeply we may choose to explore our Absolute nature – or attempt to penetrate the deepest seas of enlightened activity; at some point you’re going to have to let go of that to.

But now, that’s all part of the fun. Learning to pay attention.  Seeing how miserable you are.  Looking really deeply at why you are so miserable.  Realizing that your thoughts are problematic; trying to control them.  And eventually, through a combination of synchronicity, personal miracles, and abiding awareness; we realize that we’re still stuck.

Waking up isn’t about putting an end to your misery. A mature spiritual understanding is inclusive of learning how the mind works; cultivating a ‘sense’ of loving non-judgemental awareness; being in complete acceptance of your ‘self’ at every perceivable level; and offering yourself in loving surrender to your Self.  Instead of dwelling in the mind; the playground of thought – we reside in Being.

And we witness the perfection of creation as this divine harmony of motion plays itself out in the direction of Love.   We recognize ourselves as but singular notes within this great harmony.  The ‘I’ that remains as the root of ‘personal’ uniqueness is but an instrument of its own karmic tune.  It plays a vital role within the expression of duality – that is, itself the purpose of this reality.

One need not be so concerned about long held verbal or visual beliefs; ideas like ‘space’, ‘time’, ‘consciousness’, ‘love’, ‘god’, ‘self’, ‘good’, ‘bad’, ‘right’, ‘wrong’ – all the stuff of judgment and confused reactive models of behavior that are, themselves emanating out of the Absolute that you are. This is where the Self and the self merge.

We need to go back to that central theme of ‘I’. If you look at ‘I’ as a doorway between Self and self; then picture this doorway – on one side of it; you are the infinite, ageless, timeless expanse of well – words really.  And on the other side of it – you are just you doing you.  Here you are – as the Self, squeezed into the self; trying to find the Self.  And, of course, you ARE the Self.

Whatever is happening; right now; for you; is perfectly in harmony with itself. Just abide in it – from a position of non-judgmental loving awareness; and invite it in to break your heart.  Then, notice just how infinite the capacity of your heart really is.  See through the eyes of wise, loving, surrender to everything as your Self; and give it whatever outpouring of love your heart calls you to endure.

But let it begin with you… Our vast oceans of love are best understood when we learn to swim in them as ourselves.  We have to turn the tremendous force of Love inward, rather than outward, as we work to teach others how to swim; by whatever modality we have been drawn to. As this Love consumes you; you become the experience of it in the lives of others.  You learn to see how Love moves.

This manner of Love is NOT a thought – it does not exist in the mind. It has no relative comparative quality that we can assign to it; because it isn’t a quality – and cannot be compared by qualitative means.  It is, quite simply, ‘the movement of things’.  It does not ask for anything – it does not need anything.  It does not claim anything – and yet it exercises great wisdom in how it operates itself.

Wise, patient, and compassionate. These are realized to be core qualities of our essential nature.  Silent, still, and quiet.  Both directly and indirectly engaged in the pure doing of nothing; as it appears within the presence of being that expresses itself through us.  Sitting between two worlds, as a dualistic experience of nondual reality; that was born to serve the needs of Love.

All things in this universe are love given form to serve a purpose. We ourselves are love given form to serve a purpose. Our purpose is to be love. It is to move, through this world, with love and kindness; generosity, gratitude, and grace; with forgiveness as the mechanism by which we embrace one another, patience as the ever-steady state of our being, and compassion as how we hold it all in our hearts.

…from here we shall continue on to the nature of our confusion – that which the ‘I’ thought remains so preoccupied with.

Until next time my friends,

I Love You.  Namaste.  God Bless. and take care…

-From the Heart of Bradley

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